“Excuse me, would you like to dance?” Asks the nervous beginner.
I have been dancing for a couple of years now and would say that I am at an intermediate level, sometimes I will chance across a beginner on the dance floor.
“Yes of course” I reply.
You can’t tell just from looking at someone how they dance or how well. I like this about swing dancing; it means you never really know what kind of experience you’re going to get, it’s a lucky dip lottery. Even by looking at other people on the dance floor won’t necessarily get you closer to the truth about the best dancer in the room. Yes, you can tell that the couple that add Charleston and Balboa steps at double speed definitely know their stuff and certainly look the best, but would I enjoy dancing with him? There is a chemistry that exists between dancers, it’s about the ‘connection’ you have with the dance partner.
Truth is, it’s horses for courses, cars for customers, boys for girls and girls for boys. We all like something different.
As the music starts the dance begins too gently, too jerky, I’m either gripped painfully to his side, or it’s a Mr Burns handshake hold leading me dripping to the floor… it’s a lack of confidence and experience. As this isn’t the bedroom I feel I can tell him how to behave:
“Relax, pretend I’m like a car that you have to learn to drive, it’s a different language but it’s the same principle.”
Most guys smile and think: “she’s crazy”, however, by associating myself with an inanimate object I can take away all my obvious feminine attributes and help them relax, and hopefully, at the same time, be in for a smoother ride.
Perhaps you’d like to take one of these for a spin Sir?
No, thank you very much, this is more my style…
Dancing is probably one of the only areas of my life that I am really happy to let someone else take control, admittedly I like to add little bits and pieces here and there, a little step or a jump… but really, if I go too far ‘off piste’ it won’t be so much a shared dance experience as: two people ‘messing around’. Messing around has it’s place at times, a friend tells me that all the little steps we do in between the bigger formulae of swing outs and lindy turns did, in fact, grow up from the times you accidentally loose your partner and try to make the reunion as smooth and shameless as possible, adding a few humorous moments of foot-tapping, arm-waving hilarity. I say shameless, invariably if a couple loose their grip it’s because they’ve got really sweaty and can’t hold on, or they’re over doing it and can’t keep the delicate tension balanced correctly.
I’ve also noticed that it happens when I misbehave and get carried away with the music, or IF I DRINK TOO MUCH…then I do tend to go ‘off piste’…off course, you name it, it can’t be that great to dance with me in that state. Luckily I’ve learnt that it doesn’t really work and so I don’t really drink and dance. That’s why clubs and venues hate swing dancers, we don’t pay our way except on the door; we’ll beg you for water before anything else.
Back to the car… I like this metaphor, although I’d never thought of calling myself a large, carefully constructed piece of engineering before. I like it because I have a small place for the romantic and out-dated vision that it’s nice when a guy takes care of a girl.
On the dance floor (race track), the follower (car) listens to the leader’s ‘driving’ and if she responds to the mutually agreed swing 'sign posts', and if he's any good, she can have a great ride. As I said, this is somewhere I’m happy to be told what to do, but there are some rules.
1. As a follower, don’t anticipate what the leader will do, even if you’ve danced together before, for one, it’s bad manners but also they might have learnt some new moves and you’ll get it in the neck!
2. Don’t drink too much; apart from being off balance, you won’t be able to follow (or even see) the subtle signs the leader is giving you. Basically it doesn’t matter if you do go off ‘pissed’, but you could be in for a fall, or literally, a crash…
However, I have to re-write the rulebook when it comes to
Blues dancing…
Blues dancing…
Apparently: “The wetter the better”
(Sorry, at least I didn't write 'moist' or 'well oiled')!
(Sorry, at least I didn't write 'moist' or 'well oiled')!
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